Pull me into a bathroom at a party and tell me how bad you want me. Then fuck me.
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Date a girl who says things like:
•drive safe
•text me when you’re home safe
•choke me harder
•I can’t wait to see you
•I’m proud of you
you, a doctor: *handing me my new born baby* I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it
me, an intellectual: *handing baby back to him* bring me the one my wife made
Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.
Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.
if i say “make me” and u don’t say something nasty back u not the one 4 me
pros of dating me
• if u like something but i dont, i will try super hard to get into the thing u like
•i like physicality so neverending kisses and hugs
• im not cute so no one will steal me away??
•chubby. warm hugs.
•i will call u cute names all day long
cons
•if im wearing socks on a hardwood floor i will pretend to be lightning mcqueen in the final lap of the piston cup
He did what in his cup?
